The Journey of a Sweet Little Boy and His Special Heart

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

I was going to name this post "today sucks", but Brad won't let me.  I said it anyway.  I knew I shouldn't have mentioned the word "home" yesterday... I was warned it only causes set backs.
I am really pessimistic today and really, really grumpy- just warning you.
Logan had another little episode today of de-satting and taking too long to come back.  He was just relaxing in bed and his O2 sats dropped to the 50's and took too long to come back up.  Since this has happened two days in a row we can no longer rule it as a fluke thing.
We were also transferred out of ICU today.  This was suppose to be a positive thing, but I am so emotional about it.  They put us back in the same room we were in the first time they transferred us to the CCU- the same room Logan crashed and went into heart failure.  The room just gives me bad memories.  I cried the moment they moved us here.  I don't like being back here.  I don't like that we have to share the room.  The cute baby that we share the room with is adorable and has damaged vocal chords (how sad is that) so it isn't even that she is noisy.  I just HATE not having any privacy or space.  Logan hates change and never transitions well.  He has not been eating well at all today, and had lost weight when he was weighed today.  This is a rollercoaster I am SICK of riding.  I am tired of seeing my baby so miserable.  I think our friend Tommy is the only person that got a smile out of Logan today.  He is tired of being here too.
I'm not sure what else there is to do for him.  He is already at a single ventricle physiology so waiting for his sats to come back up just might not happen.
So that is our day.... I know there are a lot of people worse off then us, and I know I should feel blessed.  But today I am just not feeling it.


  1. CRAP! I'm so sorry for the sats and the CCU transfer. Can you sleep in with him if it is a shared room? Are they thinking sleep apnea? 50's is way scary to see your kid at. What a poopy day! I hope tomorrow is better.

  2. Sending a big hug your way! Sorry for the crappy day. STINK STINK AND STINK SOME MORE!!!
    Sending all the love and hope I can your way.
    Prayers, hope, faith and belief,

  3. Heidi,
    I'm so sorry that you and Logan are having a very bad day. Tomorrow is a new day and maybe he just needs some good sleep under him so he can start to heal. Miss you my friend and Crystann always asks about Logan when I read your blog. Have your tried reading and/or singing to him? Don't know if that would help either of you with the stir craziness but thought I would throw it out there. Hope there is some good news tomorrow, there's gotta be some light at the end of this tunnel.

  4. NOohing is worse than sharing a room. I have only done it once with Owen and I had a few meltdowns. I can't imagine revisiting the same room that you were in before. Our prayers are with you all. Owen's sats drop to the 50s a lot...especially when he is in pain or if he is playing. It stinks.

    We continue to pray and never say the "h" word.

  5. Heidi,
    I just wanted to let you know that I am praying for your family to feel peace and love and comfort from Heavenly Father. I know you don't know me too well, just that I sporadically show up to your classes at the gym, but I wanted to let you know that we all miss you and your sweet baby. I'm wishing you well and praying for Logan's recovery. You are such a great mother, so full of love. Keep holding on.