2:30 pm
My heart is broken.
I have been staring numbly out the window for the past hour with so many thoughts going through my head.  I have been prepared for everything on this journey so far... until today.  Today has probably been the hardest day of my entire life.  I think Brad and especially Logan would say the same thing.  I will update the details when I feel up to it.
5:30pm
Logan is okay if you consider this okay.  I can't even bring myself to take a picture.  He is out of surgery and having a hard time adjusting.  I keep begging the nurse to give him more pain meds.  She nicely keeps explaining to me that there is a delicate balance between keeping him comfortable and not giving him so much that he can't breathe on his own.
They had to abandon the option of a 1 1/2 ventricle repair.  They ended up doing a complete Bidirectional Glenn.  They closed down the Tricuspid Valve completely, reopened the VSD, severd the Pulmonary Artery, and rerouted the Superior Vena Cava to attach directly to the Pulmonary Artery.  He was on bypass for a good 3 hours.  Dr. Spray said he tried every way possible to try to make it work, but in the end he just didn't feel good about the Tricuspid Valve.  So Logan will have a single ventricle heart, need another major surgery in the next year or two, and unless medical technology advances drastically- a heart transplant.  But I still have my boy.
I want to scream and throw a tantrum like a 2 year old.  I want to be mad. But the bottom line... we did all we could.  We came to the best surgeon in the world, and if he couldn't make it work, it isn't God's will.
A true test of faith.  I know we have so many people praying for Logan and his doctors so I keep telling myself this has to be His will.  But it doesn't make it easier.
My heart is broken.