Logan's chest tube drainage decreased today, he moved a lot more, he ate and drank a lot more, and he was happy. We are still trying to manage his pain, but I think we are figuring things out. Today was the first day I allowed myself to think of home. I still don't think it will happen tomorrow (or the next day), but I doesn't feel so far off. Making it home by Christmas I think will be next to impossible. We prepared for this, but it doesn't make the reality of it any easier. As I prepared for this surgery I told myself and everyone else we would be pushing it to be home by Christmas, but deep down I was still hoping.
It is hard to remember it is Christmas time. I see the decorations, but hospital life is so strange. Days run together and everything feels like you are simply just trying to make it through each hour. It is hard to think beyond yourself, or your child. I was humbled today when I talked to a man I had mentally made pretty harsh judgments about. He looks really rough and kind of scary. Then he stopped in the hall and let Logan crash into him in his Lightening McQueen car and went out of his way to talk to us. Then I saw beyond the tattoos and piercings and saw a dad that loved his baby. Everyone here is fighting for the life of their child. The traditional Christmas celebrations take a back seat while we all just hope and pray to keep our families together for as long as possible.
We are saw more and more of our Logan as the day went on today. He was a lot of fun and it was a full time job for 2 to keep him busy!
I love my snuggle time with him. He will ask me to come lay with him and he always has something that needs to be rubbed. Today it was his belly, and then he loves the security if you just holding him tight. I was snuggling him up close after getting his chest tube drained (this was hurting him today because it pulls inside of him) and he wouldn't let me move my arms from his shoulder and legs until he fell asleep. I am sure he needs to feel some kind of security. I can't imagine how he is processing the trauma of all of this in his mind.
Brad just laughs at me when I don't move after he falls asleep. I love snuggling him.
We played play doh and cars
He had to take a quick break from playing in the toy room for mom to hold him quick and rub him because something felt ouchie. Brad got the camera out he immediately put his arm up around my neck then stuck out his tongue!
We have some sort of gaming system in our room like a play station or something (not even sure what it is) And Logan loves to pretend he can play this Monsters Inc. game they have. Neither Brad or I know how to even use the controller so it is comical. Logan has figured some things out, but usually we have to turn it off because he gets frustrated or stuck and we don't know how to help him.
This is when he came back for nightly meds. It was a battle to get him back to his room again. Then when we got him in here he hid and refused to leave the car!
He made so much progress physically today. It was great to see him be able to get on the floor and move a little more. We are making progress.