Update

After 2 1/2 months of waiting for test results, doctors opinions, second opinions etc. we are finally making some progress.  We are planning on taking Logan to CHOP (Children's Hospital of Philadelphia) the first week of January for his next surgery.
This decision has not come easy.  Brad and I have researched everything we know how to research.  We have talked to ANY doctor that will talk to us!  We have prayed and been to the Temple numerous times and what it comes down to is this is what feels right. 
So why not Utah is what everyone is wondering right?  Let me try to explain... The surgery options presented to us by the surgeons here in Utah:  The Glenn procedure NOW followed by the Fontan when Logan is 2 or 3.  This would shut his right heart down completely so he would only be functioning on 1/2 his heart.  This option would then require a heart transplant down the road.  Not to mention a very limited lifestyle activity wise along with risks of Kidney and Liver problems.
From the very beginning we have been optimistic and hopeful that Logan would be able to at least avoid the Fontan because his right ventricle, although small, is still adequate to function some.  So when we got the surgery plan back from the doctors in Utah we were devastated to say the least.  My heart sunk, and I knew if this really was the road we needed to take we would need to hear another surgeon say there was no hope for his right heart.  We sent his case out to 2 of the top surgeons in the country at CHOP and Stanford hoping they may have more experience with anatomy like Logan’s, and also consulted with another cardiologist at John Hopkins.  I needed to hear at least 2 doctors agree on the same thing because we were getting different opinions from the doctors here. 
We heard back from CHOP within a week, and as Brad relayed to me what the doctors there had suggested for Logan's care I wanted to jump for joy.  They felt like they could have him functioning on his right heart.  They would repair his VSD (the hole between his ventricles), and if the tricuspid valve is functioning enough they could possibly do a 2 ventricle repair, but likely not less than a 1 1/2 ventricle repair.  This is what we have hoped and prayed for.  We tried not to get our hopes too high though because again we needed to hear at least 2 doctors agree on the same thing.  Stanford took their time getting back to us (an entire month after they reviewed his case), but they came back with the same surgical plan as CHOP.  So we have 2 surgeons agreeing on the same thing... GLORIOUS! 
Stanford makes more sense logistically speaking, but CHOP feels right.  So we are preparing to travel across the U.S. to give my baby's heart the best chance we can. 
There is still a lot that can happen in a month.  We have a sedated 3-D Echo scheduled for Thursday that will give the doctors a better look at how his tricuspid valve is functioning and if it will be problematic with the CHOP/Stanford surgical plan.  We also need some other things to fall into place, but for now this is the plan.  It feels good just to have a plan!
Reality sinks in a little more every day.  I panic when I think of leaving Ashlyn and Tanner for anywhere from 2 weeks to a month…or more.  I know it would be SO much easier to stay in Utah and be able to come home and be close to family.  But I also know this is the right thing for Logan. 
THANK YOU everyone for your prayers and concern for our family.  PLEASE don't stop praying.  I KNOW it helps.  I will keep you posted on our plans as they become more definite.

I had an interesting cycle class this morning.  Who knew that riding a bike could make you emotional-then again when you are tired it doesn't take much.  Thank goodness I was sweating so much that you couldn't tell the difference between my tears and my sweat.  I pushed my class harder than I have pushed them in a really long time today.  My poor class!  As my legs were burning and my lungs were screaming at me to back off, all I wanted to do was push harder.  The stress and anxiety of the last few weeks found its outlet.  I motivated my class to keep working and push through the workout because they COULD.  They have these amazing bodies that are strong and allow them to do this- so don't you dare stop pedaling when it gets a little uncomfortable!  The whole time in the back of my mind the thoughts behind the emotion was, "Will my little baby EVER know what its like to work like this?"  
I had these same thoughts the other day when I took Ashlyn and Tanner to "Bouncing Off the Walls."  By the name of the place I'm sure you can imagine what it is, but I have pictures to demonstrate!  They were crazy jumping in the bounce house, going down an INSANELY long slide.  It was so fun watching them have fun together and play until their faces were bright red and they were exhausted, but I couldn't help but wonder how Logan would fit into the mix.  Will he ever be able to play like that with his siblings?  Will I ever dare let him play like that???  What limits will his little heart put on him?

I guess in the meantime I will help him feel as "normal" as possible, and do what his siblings do.  He loves Halloween candy just as much as Ashlyn and Tanner... only for different reasons.  They all make such a fun crinkly noise!  His favorite thing lately is delving into the bowl of leftover candy (I haven't thrown it out yet because it keeps him so entertained).  I think he thinks he is eating big boy food too.... we have him fooled!  If he only knew what it tasted like with the wrapper off!

HOPE

I knew when I woke up this morning that today would be different.  (That is if you call it waking up, I'm not sure if I ever slept last night.  I spent the night on Logan's floor and in between holding him and rocking him in his carseat we finally made it to sunrise- darn congestion.) 
I was reminded AGAIN today that things happen when they are suppose to happen, and I can't always see the bigger picture.  We were given a little glimmer of hope today from a doctor at CHOP (Children's Hospital of Philidelphia) that there might be a better procedure for Logan's heart.  So I was able to walk around with a little less weight on my shoulders today.  It is too soon to make any decisions, but it feels good to have another option.
So today did end up being a little different.  I don't have to go to bed frustrated that we didn't hear from any doctors today. 
We also heard back from Primary's, but that update is for another day.  We have a lot to figure out.  Once we hear back from Stanford we will start making decisions.  In the meantime this picture will make you smile of my little guy.  I found this picture on the camera - Brad took it the other morning when they were hanging out!

I'm not sure if this is a good thing, but Logan LOVES watching movies.  I needed to get the laundry folded so I put on a Baby Einstein movie for him and he was glued to the movie for 15 min!  Look how big he is sitting up all on his own.

What's New???

Not much.... we are still waiting.  Sometimes I feel like all I do is wait around for doctors to call.  We have heard back from one doctor and we should hear back this week from the surgeons that we are asking for their second opinion. We were warned that sometimes getting a second opinion can make you more confused... and confused I am.  But I want at least 2 doctors to agree on the same thing before I send my son in for another major surgery.  I also want the MOST optimistic solution for my little guys heart.   
Logan still looks great.  Talking with the one doctor he did tell us that Logan already has slight Pulmonary Hypertension.  We have looked at his Oxygen Saturation levels being high as a good thing because he hasn't had to be on oxygen, but the downside of that is that his lungs are flooded with too much blood.  So this keeps his sats high, but is what causes the pulmonary hypertension.  He is also sweating like crazy when he eats and sleeps.  I finally got a hold of his doctor today and he increased his Lasix so hopefully that helps with the sweating and the excess blood in his lungs. 
Logan has been a little stinker lately at night.  He is waking up WAY too much!  And with heart babies it's not a simple let them cry it out solution, so we have had a challenge on our hands.  Some nights I just end up sleeping in his room on the floor because it is easier than getting out of bed and walking in there every hour. 
We have also been trying rice cereal to help keep him full longer, but he HATES it!  It doesn't matter if I make it with breast milk, formula, or water.  He spits it out and then clamps his mouth shut!  We even tried the kind with bananas in it.  He is so stubborn!
So not much news now, but HOPEFULLY this week.  I don't think my anxiety levels can stand another week of waiting by the phone for doctors to call. 

Shock

I feel like I just got punched in the gut.  Brad and I were just talking on the phone discussing our plans for the weekend when he says, "Oh that is the cardiologist calling my cell phone, I will call you back."  About 30 min. later he called back.  Dr. Mack, called and talked for a minute about the Cath and the scare we had yesterday and then he said, "Well, Dr. Kaza wants us to go ahead and schedule his Glenn."  Brad I think about fell out of his chair.  He was like, wait a minute let's back up.  After the Cath we were feeling pretty comfortable that the Glenn was still a ways off.  After a long conversation with Dr. Mack it has come down to doctor's not agreeing on the same thing.  Dr. Mack and Dr. Cowley (the doc who did the Cath) both feel like Logan has time to wait before his next surgery, but for some reason- I don't think we have all the facts yet, Dr. Kaza thinks we should do it now.  We also got more bad news.  The last few appointments we have seen that the position of his overriding tricuspid valve was looking more promising to be able to patch his VSD.  This was GREAT news because that would mean he would have a 1 1/2 ventricle repair and not need the Fontan.  Dr. Mack said today that Dr. Kaza wasn't thinking it was very likely he would be able to repair the VSD not because of the position of the valve, but because the valve is not functioning  properly.  This was the biggest blow.  If he gets the Fontan he will most likely need a heart transplant down the road, and they have more limitations throughout their life.  This was just heart breaking news for me as his mom. 
Brad told Dr. Mack we weren't ready to schedule the surgery.  We needed time to think about this because just minutes before we again thought we had months before surgery.  After Brad told Dr. Mack this he sounded relieved.  Brad told him we wanted to get some second opinions.  Dr. Mack was completely on board with this.  He said he would get copies of all Logan's recent Echo's and his Cath together for us to send out for more opinions.  I called his pediatrician too and he gave me a name of another surgeon to contact to get a second opinion. 
So here we are.  This morning I just got done telling my neighbor that all was well and hopefully we wouldn't have anything going on again for a few months.... and now we are looking surgery straight in the face.
I wish I understood more, and I wish medicine didn't have to be so variable.  I trust the doctors, but I also know they don't know everything.  It is so hard to trust them with the life of my child.  My dad keeps reminding me that we don't trust entirely in the arm of flesh, but we have to trust God.  I know this, and I hope somehow we find peace with a decision.  If it comes down to us needed to go out of state to give Logan the best care, that is what we will do.  Some how this will all work out- It has to.

All Because of these Two Little Feet

These two little feet have caused quite an eventful day today.  The picture doesn't do it justice, but if you notice the top foot is a little more pale than the bottom.

So I took Logan to Dr. Lei, his pediatrician, for his 4 month well baby visit.  As the nurse put him on the table to measure his height she goes.... wow, his foot is white.  She kept pinching it to see the capillary refill- there was none.  So I knew I wasn't crazy the last two days thinking something was wrong.  When the doctor came in, of coarse it wasn't as bad.  This happens so intermittently that I really do start questioning if I am just paranoid.  Dr. Lei checked things out and couldn't feel a pulse at all anywhere in his right leg.  This was very concerning to him... obviously.  He went right in and called up to the cardiologists at Primary's.  They said come directly there, and don't make any stops. 
Brad's work was on the way so we did make a tiny detour to get him, I wasn't about to do this alone.  In the meantime I called a neighbor to take care of Ashlyn and Tanner, called my boss at 24 hour Fitness to get my class covered for the night, and tried not to panic.  The last few days I knew something wasn't right- its not normal for your leg to change colors and not have a pulse, but I was never freaking out. I knew things were okay, but I also knew we needed to be sure and check everything out.
Two different Cardiologists checked Logan out at the Hospital.  Of coarse when they were looking at him his leg never turned white.  They said they could "kind of" feel a faint pulse in his leg, and they thought he would be okay.  This wasn't OKAY with us, we wanted to be sure.  So we insisted he have an ultra-sound.  His leg did turn white for the Radiologist, but the blood flow through his femoral artery looked great.  They compared his right leg to his left leg and it was significantly different, but they weren't sure why.  The Radiologist talked with both Cardiologists and they agreed that although it was weird, they weren't too worried.  So they said to keep giving him Aspirin to avoid any blood clots and they sent us on our way.

There you have it.... just another day in the life of the Gunnell's. 
Brad and I were calm through the whole thing.  My mom on the other hand was SO worried.  She was just leaving out of town when she heard we were on our way to the hospital.  She decided she wasn't going anymore because she was so worried about Logan- I insisted she go.  I knew he was going to be okay.  There were so many prayers said for him, and I KNOW they always help.  We have so much support.  My neighbor not only took care of Ashlyn and Tanner she also cleaned my house, and had dinner made for us when we got home. 
SO BLESSED ARE WE.
 

Concerns

Today Logan looks PERFECT.... except when you lay him down.  Everytime I lay him down his right foot goes completely white and there is no capillary refill in it.  We called the Cardiologist who did his Cath and he said it sounded like there could be a blood clot so to give him Aspirin.  We already have an appointment scheduled with his Pediatrician tomorrow so we are suppose to have him check things out.  Hopefully that goes well.

These are just some pictures we snapped of him today.

 He is getting so big!

 This is what I look forward to EVERY night.  He is a snuggler and I hope that never changes.  I could sit and hold him like this for hours.  This kid melts my heart.